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Personal, Uncategorized

April 7, 2011

Vulnerability

I think people desire vulnerability.  Based on the response to this blog post, it’s obvious that we respond when others are vulnerable. Is it because we live in a culture that so often focuses on appearances and impressing others?  Are we longing  for something that’s real?  Maybe.

About a week and a half ago, I saw a TED talk by Brene Brown posted on facebook.  It was called, The Power of Vulnerability.  The timing seemed perfect since I’ve been thinking so much about my own desire to be genuine and authentic.  I watched it right away.  I watched it again later that night.  I think I’ve watched it about five times since.

Something about it really struck me.

I definitely identified with the feeling of being not enough.  I think we all know that feeling.  I’m not skinny enough… I’m not pretty enough…I’m not smart enough…. and on and on.

Earlier last year I came down with a big fat case of the “not enough’s”.  I’m not sure why, but for some reason I was feeling, ugly, awkward, and unstylish.  Now I haven’t always felt that way.  And in my head I know those things aren’t true.  But even with people telling me things that were quite the contrary, I still couldn’t seem to really embody and believe it.

So I sought some wise counsel and have worked through a lot of those things.  It’s been good.

Really good.

Back to Brene Brown…..

One of the things she talks about is those she calls the “whole hearted”.  People who live from their whole heart.  One of the things that characterizes the whole hearted is a strong sense of love and belonging.  Why do they have that?  Simply this….. they BELIEVE they are worthy of love and belonging.

BAM!

That was me in a sense.  When I’ve had such a hard time with my “not enough’s”, in some ways I haven’t believed I’m worthy of love and belonging.  Only in some ways.  In other ways I feel worthy and deserving.  But doesn’t it seem like those places we feel weak or insufficient end up feeling huge and overshadowing the good and confident side of us at times?

Well, I don’t want to live in the land of “not enough’s”.  I want to live a life of abundance.  I want to live as the whole hearted live: courageous, imperfect, compassionate, and real.  To allow myself to be seen.  Deeply.  To love with my whole heart, even though there are no guarantees.  To practice gratitude and joy.  To let go of who I think I should be and be who I actually am.  To tell the story of who I am with my whole heart, and to be vulnerable.

For what makes me vulnerable makes me beautiful.

  1. Leila Jones

    April 7th, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    What a treasure! This was a glimpse into your beautiful soul. Excited for what unfolds for you. I am a better person because I know you.

  2. Sarah Ahn

    April 7th, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    Gosh, I so love the ted talk!!! 🙂 Much much needed. It’s so true about vulnerability – it breeds authenticity. We all have our bouts of feeling like we don’t deserve to be connected. I certainly have experienced it. Not feeling good enough. Thanks for the lovely post, Jen! 🙂

  3. Jenn Gaudreau

    April 7th, 2011 at 2:02 pm

    So blessed by you sharing this. You know just how near this is to my own heart as well. I feel so very honored to have seen a glimpse into who Jen is- and what an extraordinary and beautiful woman you are. Thank you for being YOU. Sending you so much love and big, big hugs.

  4. Amber Fox

    April 7th, 2011 at 4:13 pm

    BIG virtual hug right now. I love you Jen! And I am glad you are taking this leap of vulnerability on your blog. You have such a heart for your community and think so many of us connect with the inner conversation that you are going thru. I know I do. I love you girl and I am glad I get to be a part of your journey.

  5. Amy Hinden

    April 7th, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    What a great post Jen. Thanks for sharing!

  6. Nancy

    April 7th, 2011 at 11:07 pm

    You couldn’t have ended this post any better. “For what makes me vulnerable makes me beautiful”.

    Love seeing this side of you, your heart is completely open. 😉

  7. Jenny Arnez

    April 17th, 2011 at 7:38 am

    This is good stuff. I’ve been reading her book, “The Gifts of Imperfection” and it’s been liberating for me.

  8. Jenna J. Merryman

    June 12th, 2011 at 10:42 pm

    Oh my GOODNESS. First of all, I thought you wrote my blog post for me. Lol. I am exactly at this place. But then I’m listening to the video and I have my bachelor’s in social work, my masters in social work, and am almost a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (one more exam to pass.) WEIRD. Thank you for sharing this Jen. I really needed it right now. 🙂 Blessing to you over there in Spain.

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